£ðvê mê ♥

2011-06-16T11:17:00.003+08:00

Everything changes with time.
Dont expect anything stay stagnant.
I been through,
Suffer before,
And find a way out all by myself so many times.

And perhaps what she said is right.
This time was different.
Because i had pin so much hopes,
that when something distinctly different happens,
it took a toll on me.
Totally.

What's more can i say?
That i inadvertently fall into the trap,
again...

All i can find myself doing now is,
crying.
And it does not solve things.

I want to find the strength again.
want to find the strength.
But, which part of the memory can i start digging?
Because it's been so long i ever sort of thoughts.
Thinking i will always have someone to help me through all tough times.

I was gullible.
No.
I am...

Where is the wind which always blew my worries?

2010-11-15T15:26:00.001+08:00

Sometimes Sometimes..
I wish i can rewind, and restart them again.
Refining everything to their best,
so that i wont live with regrets.

Sometimes Sometimes...
I wonder why has anger always get the better of us,
when we know we can never comprehend the sadness after the mess.
And then,
we will pray to god that things can be change, again.

Sometimes Sometimes...
I just wonder if i ever done anything wrong, against the "good karma rules",
because i'm never happy, but i really wish,
i can help the unfortunate people to be happy, instead,
since i cant be happy myself.
But, sadly, still no news from the voluntary club.

Sometimes Sometimes...
I wish all good people will have good endings.
But life is never played in this manner.
That becomes more real,
when the one you hated the most always appear infront of you.
However, didn't drama always depict marriages coming out from
such relationships?

Sometimes Sometimes...

Will you be the one who always enlighten me?

2010-10-21T22:27:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, i just wonder..
Happiness is scarce enough for me,
and if i no longer look the same..
Disheveled, bald..

Will you still love me,
the same?

Comfort me, caress me just like as always?

2010-10-02T12:42:00.002+08:00

I know, it`s been a long time since i blog.
And many things happen, mostly bad ones.
So bad that, i`m really suspecting,
am i suffering from depression?

I dont know why i cant choose to
ignore those ppl who hurt me,
or ignore those things which hurt me,
when i jolly well know that if i continue
to think about them, i will only get sadder.

Sometimes,
i would ask god.
why is he doing this to me?
What is his purpose of doing all these to me?
Is it true that good people reap not only no good returns,
but disastrous things will come haunting on them,
one by one,
each getting more horrible than the other one.

Life.
Is such a terrible word,
that explains the increase in suicidal rates.
Because it`s literally grabbing on my neck now.
Smothering me, even when i called help so many times,
it seems to fall on deaf ears.

All i wanted was something simple,
Happiness.
But as always,
such a simple word,
such a simple meaning,
yet so unattainable.

2010-08-21T11:51:00.002+08:00

Sometimes,
just a hug, and "i love you",
makes things look simpler, and easier to solve.

Sometimes,
stop pin-pointing at your partner's fault,
and embrace them instead,
makes things look simpler, and happier to live on.

Sometimes,
looking things at a different angle,
and try to make things look more rosier,
makes things look simpler, and happier to live with.

Will you do them with me?

2010-04-02T09:28:00.001+08:00

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl

2010-03-12T02:07:00.004+08:00

From Deviantart

All his unflagging efforts to give me the assurance i needed.
And he might be true on one point.
Trust.
The lack of trust has always been the bone of contention for all couples,
i supposed?

Sometimes,
i get so upset because of all these incessant arguments,
and some were amusingly paltry issues.
And we can take a day to clear the air.
Somehow, at that point of time,
nothing seems to assuage my dejection.

Well Well,
i always believe,
after every storm,
there will be sunshine,
and if there`s a rainbow,
things are definitely looking even better than before!

Happiness is our chief concern.
Isn`t it?

Baby,
you are the only one i need,
and the only thing i cant live without.

2010-02-24T19:09:00.004+08:00

From Deviantart

Getting a job,
is probably the best activity,
which i can think of,
to wait out all these torturous days
of not having baby by my side.

And i would like to use this opportunity,
to apologise to baby regarding the squabble
two days ago.
You know,
there`s this chinese saying which goes:
No discord, no concord.

Dont you agree?
Everyone is unique.
And needless to say,
we will have differences in our perspectives.
But dont you think,
all these differences actually complement themselves?

And recently,
so many things are conspiring against me,
I became quite a disgruntled old granny.
But, after thinking through what Baby had told me,
i felt so much better.
Yes, pessimism is always the corollary of all failures.

If you think you can pass through all these hurdles,
then you can.
Even if they seems to take forever,
always believe they will be gone one day!

My life becomes brighter,
because of you, baby. =))

2010-02-19T01:46:00.001+08:00

Just feel so much like crying when i watch this video.
May god bless Haiti in the rebuilding efforts.
I will pray for you!

2010-02-11T01:10:00.001+08:00

From Deviantart

I love baby's parents.
They treat me just like their kin.
And i can never forget how baby's mummy cared for me,
when i was running fever.

I dont know why.
But i just cant stop smiling,
when baby told me her mum kept asking about me.
And i dont know why,
i have such a strong urge to call his mummy,
and thanked her.

Because of so many loves from so many people,
i feel so much better, and stands even stronger now.

Perhaps we have never been separated for so long,
and we find it so hard to adapt.
I longed for the two weeks break, which baby will be entitled to
after he POP, to come fast, Fast, FAst, FASt, FAST!
Coming in less than 2 months time.

Want to go genting!!! Wheets Wheets!
Dont think will update any time soon.
Going to be busy! Boooo!
Bye ppl!

i like it so much,
when we are talking about our future,
and you are so serious..

2010-02-08T17:26:00.003+08:00

This is going to be sappy.
Read at your own risk. =))

I have always hated every things which revolved around my life.
And believed that i can never be a happy person.
But one person, an ordinary guy,
makes me believe otherwise.

He makes me believe that i can be happy if i choose to be.
Even in the worst situations,
i can still find happiness in sufferings.
God loves us all.
He will never pitchfork us into situations
which he knows we couldn`t handle.

And i know,
for any obstacles i faced,
he will be there for me,
be it mentally, or physically.

He makes me realize that not all guys are assholes.
Because i found him.
Who loves me and holds me dearly.
He makes me forget all the miseries i suffered,
and all the people who hold me in contempt.

Even though we quarreled real badly 3 times,
he makes an effort to understand the problems.
And these conflicts did not turn our relationship sour,
it becomes stronger than before instead.

And it`s the first time i felt such immense happiness,
just by looking at someone's smile.
And it was his.
The smile on his face.

And it felt so painful when i know he is suffering.
Whenever he tried to put on a brave front,
my anger just grows and overwhelmed me.
I hate it so much.

I just want to go through anything,
be it happy moments, and sad moments, together.
I believe if we solve things together,
hand in hand,
things will look so much simpler and easier to manage.
Isn't it?

Most importantly, I learn to trust people,
instead of regarding everyone with distrust.
Even if one day, they do really lie,
at least i know, i once tried to trust them.
It`s never my loss.
But theirs.

And so much more!
I will continue again tomorrow if i`m free.

P.S
Baby,
i love you.
And very happy that you make a few friends over there already.
2 months more and you will post out le!
Then we can have the long week to enjoy again!
I`ll be waiting for your return every week! =))

2010-02-07T17:30:00.000+08:00

Headache..
Headache..
Headache..

2010-01-21T02:12:00.002+08:00

当我人感到不舒服，
全身发烫，动弹不得时，
Baby的妈妈，手轻轻放在我的额头，
和肚子看我是否发烧了。
那一刻，我仿佛感觉到妈妈的温馨。

现在我终于体会到，
当一个人生病时，最重要的就是人的关怀与关心。
你说是吗？

2010-01-20T02:39:00.000+08:00

我希望我的爱情能够简简单单。
就像糖果一般甜甜蜜蜜。
就像白纸一样单纯。
而信任就像永远不会断的空气。

你的拥抱,是我最大的安慰.

2010-01-14T16:44:00.001+08:00

只是那么短暂的时间，
我就有点害怕。

害怕命运。

因为这是我无法控制的。

他常问∶如果就有那么一天，我被派出国一年，我会跑掉吗？

虽然我表面上显得默无关心
其实我是多么的想安抚他，
叫他别担心。

有人说：『伟大的爱情应该禁得起考验』

尽管我们受到一些波折、一些打击、一些伤害，
我们也能挺身去接受。

假使我们真的失去了它，
那只是表面或形式上失去它，
在生命里却能永远拥有它。

只要相信我们的爱,
哪怕会有什么坚熬。
不是吗？

2009-12-28T19:47:00.001+08:00

If i`ve attained all my goals,
i would have killed myself now.

2009-11-25T03:12:00.000+08:00

快乐，你去了哪里？.......

2009-11-10T01:30:00.002+08:00

Recently,
i dont know what's got into me,
that i`m so exceptionally happy.

Many times,
i find myself,
smiling to myself,
and strangers smiling back at me.
Perhaps they think i were smiling at them. =/

It`s weird.
But somehow,
i realize,
that the world is not an unfamiliar place after all.
At least not here in singapore. =))

I really like this feeling.
To think i always have a pessimistic view of life,
for maybe,
5 or 6 years already?

And suddenly,
it seems like i took an antidote unknowingly.

All the stress which are crushing me,
seems to dissolve into strength.
The strength to improve.

And work seems pretty smooth for me, right now.

I`m grateful.
And i just had a feeling,
that this happiness will last forever,
unlike all the other times.

Thanks everyone.
Thanks everyone for colouring every moment of my life.
Really, thanks...

2009-11-08T20:32:00.002+08:00

你從那些艱苦的日子走來
是怎樣莫可奈何的忍耐
而從前未曾給我的愛和關懷
今天在你帶淚的笑裡找來

誰說我的命運好像那油麻菜
只是你不知將它往哪裡栽
就算我的命運好像那油麻菜
但是我知道了怎樣去愛

才盼望你將我抱個滿懷
日子就已盪呀盪的來到現在
經過了那些無奈和期待
我好高興有了自己的將來

2009-10-26T00:42:00.000+08:00

2009-10-19T21:00:00.000+08:00

In the front,
i smile, and said "see you again."

Behind,
i whispered, "can you stay longer?"

2009-10-14T01:50:00.000+08:00

I think that,
i can die any moment,
either by heart attack,

or voluntary.

2009-10-11T13:34:00.003+08:00

From Deviantart

I hate it the most when i'm like this.
I hate it when i always have to mince my words.

I hate it when i always cant express how i truly felt.

And i always ended up feeling so utterly depressed.

How i wish i can be like those girls,
who are bold,
and dare to voice their thoughts.

Though people may find them annoying,
but they are the only ones who are really true to themselves.

All these inner struggling.
All these self-deceiving.
Makes me wanna cry sometimes.

I`m such a weakling.
And i still remember myself,
mouthing these words:
i hate weaklings.

2009-10-05T23:20:00.000+08:00

"自己认为最好，才是最好。"

The sentence above is so true.

I dont mind my bf to be very poor,
at least,
we can take buses or trains,
and spend quality time together.
If needed,
i can always pay for the cab fares.

I dont mind my bf making cute lil cards,
or drawings, accompanied with a slice of cake
for my birthdays,
at least i know,
he really spent alot of time on them.

I dont mind,
just surviving on sandwiches,
when we are dating,
at least i know,
the sandwiches are made with,
effort and lots of love.

All i ever needed from my bf,
is respect.

And it`s something,
which no guys can achieve.
Because they just think that,
with all the filthy money they have,
they are gods to women.

Pui!

2009-10-02T13:58:00.001+08:00

I just wonder,
what if i stop taking the painkillers?

Because after taking them,
i still feel a lil pain.
And i think it is not healing it,
but rather just relieving the pain alone.

The excruciating pain.
And i have alot of pending work to be done tmr.

"I wish i can take two days mc like you"

"I wish i can pass this pain to you, and i work like shit"

Who in a right mind,
wants to feel pain?
Masochist perhaps?

But i`m not.
I rather work the hell out of me,
then pain the hell out of me.

Sobs!

2009-09-30T00:44:00.001+08:00

I hate this " People come, and people go" tingy.

It sucks,
to the max.

2009-09-27T23:31:00.002+08:00

I read up on something recently,
on being financially independent,
and i thought i should share with all of you.

It`s actually something which i always tell Yc,
and the book which i read actually,
spell it louder for me.

1st:

"The most important thing in life is education.
Whatever you know cannot be taken away from you"

Paraphrased, the book is trying to say that good education is always
equated with being financially independent.

Which is the reason why,
I am so determined to study hard for my honours degree.
Maybe to other girls,
it is a hunting ground for the right husband.
But i really dont want to get anything below 2nd upper class degree.

2nd:
Like what i have been emphasizing to yc,
being a gold-digger can really be a career choice,
if you`re pretty, and SMART.

"If marrying a rich is your career choice,
see a good divorce lawyer even before you are married as part of the
stretegy plan. Get good advice on what it will take to obtain your
deserved portion of his money, should there be a divorce."

Or draw up a prenuptial agreement with your man.

But then again,
never quit your job!
Because,
when you intend to return to the workforce,
it`s hard to make up to the lost economic ground,
when you are out for such a long time.

Which is why,
before having a baby,
think first.
Think whether you will be pitchforked,
to sacrifice your career,
and let it fall all the way down your priority ladder.

Then, dont have a baby if that would happen.
Having your own money/income,
is always as important as love and marriage.

Because,
your husband may leave you any time.
Then, who is going to take care of the kids and your
expenses? Your lodging? Your food? Your transport?
Your kids' education?

You may face many challenges if you think this way,
if you`re married.
But then again,
if he is a secure man,
why would he even object?

Dont you think it is way too scary,
to depend someone on
both love and money?

2009-09-25T10:42:00.000+08:00

Policy 1:

Those people who ARE REALLY sick,
SHOULD come to work.

Policy 2:

Those people who are NOT sick,
SHOULD NOT come to work.

2009-09-20T23:03:00.002+08:00

His entry is way unmistakable.
My english and chinese name is in there.
A surname added in, and it`s pin-pointing at me.

And i see no benefit in being deliberately provocative.
So why?

Caricaturing me as "shallow, materialistic, naive, selfish, inconsiderate,
bad, lousy, heartless, two-faced, hypocritical, vicious and immoral".

For those people who had read it,
do you think such transgression should be tolerated?

Even when i want to report him to the police,
so that he will be forced to remove the content,
i`m too busy to do so.

Though many people just want me to ignore this loser,
ultimately, he is just winding me up.

But, it just buggers me so much.

Initially, i was kinda apologetic,
because that was inevitable.

But now,
i feel like a big "goondoo"
for feeling that way.
Arghhh!

To make things worst,
the things he posted was dated back in 2007.
Two years?
Still the same maturity?

Me = Case Study for guys?

I think it should be:
JY = Case Study for both guys and girls.

It just serves as a stern warning,
to both women and men.

Women:
Choose your guy friends wisely,
like seriously!
You will never want to end up,
having a clingy, vindictive,
immature friend,
let alone boyfriend.

Men:
If you gonna act exactly as the stated person,
with such low intellectual,
you gonna be such a BIG turn-off
to all your female friends.

Time to grow up, guys.
what century are we in now?
doing all these pussy things.

This is seriously pissing me off.

FUCK.
Get a life.

2009-09-19T01:33:00.001+08:00

It`s not the first time i`m having this fear.

I dread coming back home when he`s around.
I dread sitting in the living room when he`s around.

I dont know how long can i withstand this fear.

Maybe one day,
i might just walk out of the house,
and never come back.

But..
I will miss my mum and sis,
so much..

Why is my life,
so associated with abuse?

2009-09-17T00:32:00.002+08:00

Everyday work.
Every single second, work.

I`M SO SHAG! =((

And Mr Paul Kumar aka BFF:
I hate it when you say i changed,
after i become the manager.

COME ON LUHS.
Just because,
i always say your jokes ain`t funny,
doesn`t mean anything what!
And seriously, your jokes AIN`T FUNNY!

Except for that ah beng joke you told me,
that was really funny.

And i dont even feel like a manager,
i feel like an "Ah-Sum".
Cover all.
"Bao Ka Liao".
Ha!

Anyhow,
I`m still the ever "Lou Soh",
and cranky lil girl!

Please!
I hate racist jokes!
You can make fun of another race,
other than my race, and your race.
You get what i mean? =D

Let`s work hard tmr.
I`m too tired.
Bye!

2009-09-15T01:13:00.003+08:00

Recently,
i tend to think alot.

Why i didn`t do this,
and why i didn`t do that.

And i overlooked the present,
and the future,
which can still be changed.

Well,
i`ll talk more bout what i intend to change,
when i feel like typing more.

So, anyway,
I went to salvation army to donate all the clothes,
which i dont think i`ll be wearing anymore,
and some were not even worn before!

And.
I should start jogging soon.
Maybe thursday.,
maybe every thursday.

So that i can visit the library or bookstore on fridays!
Yeppie!
I`m happy. =))

2009-09-13T01:31:00.001+08:00

I have decided.
To not apply for SIM because of all the comments i received.

I decided to try my luck in a local Uni first.
NUS or SMU.

I`ll work hard for the time being,
and try to gain as much experience i can,
So that my boss can write me a good testimonial,
to get a better standing.

I have read that people with a gpa less than 3,
but was a president in their CCA/Club, or a national player,
got into SMU.

So if they can get in,
and i have got better results than them,
i should be able to at least appeal,
with my boss's testimonial.

I must be optimistic!

Worst comes to worst,
i apply for SIM then.
Ha!

Bless me people!

2009-09-09T18:29:00.001+08:00

My laptop is beyond repair anymore.
All the hardwares are overheated.
Special thanks to my laptop fan.

Sigh,
Any kind souls out there who are willing to
lend me their laptops?

Feel so devastated.
Exaggerated, but so true.

Meanwhile, enjoy the video below.
Love it. =))

2009-09-04T23:46:00.005+08:00

From Deviantart.

人为什么要有感觉？

人为什么要经历七情六欲，七伤六苦？

为什么感情就像两个人拉着橡皮筋，受伤的总是不愿放手的那一个？

难道永恒的快乐只能渴求而不能拥有的吗？

那为何快乐要存在呢？

人存在这世上有何意义呢？

就为了生活而活下去？

就为了追求理想和目标而活下去？

就算让我追到了，得到了，又能怎么样？
等死吗？

每当我一想到这里，我真的很伤心.......
很伤心.......

有时后我多么盼望我是个机器人，
但我完成了我的使命之后，
就算我会被遗弃或扔掉，
我都不会有一丝的伤感或不舍，
甚至一点害怕的感觉都没有。

可是我是人......

我很害怕.........
我真的很害怕我最爱，最关心的人，
一个，一个，的离我而去。

我宁可走的人是我.......

2009-09-01T18:45:00.004+08:00

From Deviantart

I`m happy.

I`m happy how much i was appreciated,
for all the things i had done.

I`m happy how people smile at me,
and say thank you.

I`m happy how people do all the little things to cheer me up,
when i was abit down.

Hmms,
i`m thankful. =))

It`s all the little little things in life,
which makes everyone so happy, and contented,
isn`t it?

********************************************

P.S.
Girl,
dont you think it`s because we think too much into the past,
which deter us from being together as sisters again?

Somehow,
time gives me a sense of closure.
Do you?

2009-08-30T00:10:00.000+08:00

-edited-

glistening crystals....
falling... and falling....
from drizzle to sheets..
never ending.

glistening crystals...
shining in darkness.
so alluring...
yet so sad.

glistening crystals....
thumping and thumping...
like a rhythm on the ground..
painfully nice...

glistening crystals..
glistening tears..

2009-08-28T00:15:00.002+08:00

I usually find it easier to express myself with drawings.
The first one was drawn very long ago.
The last one was today.
Super ugly.

I`ll edit it!
Dont worry!

And.
I really like the word "depressed".
The way it sounds,
the spelling. Ha!

Dont you find this looks like me?
Hmms, drawn by Yx!
I like! =))

2009-08-24T17:35:00.001+08:00

I hate it,
when i have to suppress my feelings.
So much so,
sometimes, i couldn`t believe that`s me.

Because, i`m always a straightforward person.
I speak how i feel,
with no qualms.

Maybe now,
It`s just me.
I`m just not confident enough.

2009-08-22T01:10:00.002+08:00

Hello Girl.

I still care for you.
And still worried for you.
Because afterall,
we used to be each others life support.

No matter what happens in the future,
i`ll be there for you,
like your elder sister,
always.

If life is ever smooth-sailing,
it`s gonna be weird, isn`t it?

Because of all the ups, and downs,
it makes the 1% good times,
special and precious,
isn`t it?

If you ever feel lonely,
or feel that hope is petering out.
I`m always there,
to make you feel yourself again. =))

I`ll pray hard for you.
To succeed in your future endeavours,
and stay blissful with your dearest bf.

Remember what i always been telling you?
Even if the whole world hates you,
You still have to love yourself.

Take Care.

Love you always,
Joanne

2009-08-21T02:23:00.001+08:00

I miss you, boy.
Do you?

2009-08-18T02:05:00.003+08:00

Random 1

Random 2

Random 3

Random 4 (Drawn by Yx)

2009-08-14T22:40:00.002+08:00

Watch it people!
One hella funny song!

『 ♫~I jizz right in my pants
Every time you're next to me
And when we're holdin hands
Its like havin sex with me
You say I'm premature
I just call it ecstasy
I wear a rubber at all times
Its a necessity
Cuz I jizz in my pants ~♫ 』

2009-08-09T23:56:00.001+08:00

I seriously dont understand why people always feel there`s a need to lie?

2009-08-03T22:42:00.002+08:00

I swear i drop a tear.
When i broke my heels while alighting the cab just now.

You know what ppl?
How suay can i be.

I broke two of my super favourite heels, and worn out one flats,
just within a week.
To think the flats is two weeks old,
and one of my heels is 3 days old.

Now,
i`m left with all the super high heels,
and ugly shoes.

How can i wear them to work tmr?

I know it`s silly to cry.
But.
Imagine all your favourite heels are broken.
And it had never happened to you before!

I`m just so sick of buying shoes anymore.
`Cause i seriously wont know when they will be broken again.
But i know,
it`ll be soon.

I wont buy the same brand again!

I`m so gonna cry again.
So suay. =((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

2009-08-03T00:15:00.002+08:00

More and more people looked upon me as a guy!
Oh my!
Is it a good thing, or bad?
Hmms, maybe i should start getting a girlfriend.
Bwahaha!

Gonna train one new staff tmr.
I hope everything would go well.

Will update more soon, yahhs!

I`m gone!

Saturate me.

2009-07-31T01:57:00.000+08:00

I`m not obliged to accept you. =))

2009-07-29T23:52:00.004+08:00

"Why care so much about Love?
When all we wanted is just fun? " =))

Like this quote so much.
If we care so much,
about whether the other party loves you or not,
wont it be kinda miserable?

Why not treat it as having fun,
isn`t life a much happier story?

Ha.
But seriously,
this sounds crazy.

But i like. =))

*********************************************

And Yc is so gonna be lesbian with me!
Look at the Fb bot result dear!
My number 1 blissful marriage partner.
We can get legally married in Canada!
Want?

Even if i earn 10 dollars per month,
i`m so gonna give you $9.99.

Look forward to working with you soon.
Muacks!
Please love me more! =D

2009-07-22T22:57:00.005+08:00

『強がりが僕らしさならば、もういらない。』

Dreams and Reality.
Just a thin line apart, yet transformation seem to be implausible.
And I have vastly come to terms with all the perennial rough and tumble of life.

To be unfazed, or not,
Hinge on how you allow the problems to fester your mind grudgingly,
Or run a mile.

Yes, running away is never the best solution.
But it`s like those over-counter medicines,
which can relieve your pain within minutes, but not curing them.
But, don’t you take them?
To carry on your daily activities?

Everyone seems to believe these temporary solutions,
are just the thin end of the wedge.
It`s so wrong.

Because in the long run,
You became so immune,
That you no longer rely on these remedies anymore.

Running away is always the best solution.
Because,
It`s the best way of building up your immune system.

At the end of the day,
When you`ve reached your rock bottom,
You`ll be phlegmatic.
Dismissing all problems with an airy wave of your hand, saying:
“♫It`s not a big deal luhs!♫” =))

And she closed her eyes.
Feel the wind.
And let it whisks her problems away.

2009-07-19T12:56:00.008+08:00

From Deviantart

Even after so many ruinous things had happened to me the past one week,
i still managed to hold my tears.

But now, i`m no longer able to anymore.
I`ve reached my max.

I think i`m an odd one out in this world.
I feel that i could no longer able to blend in anymore.

No matter how hard i try,
to be nice to ppl for all these years of my lifetime,
I am never appreciated.
Instead, i was either being casted aspersions terribly, or hurt terribly.

I tried so hard to convince myself that
even if the whole world hates me,
i still have to love myself.

But i`m hating myself for not being able to blend in like any other ppl.

I hate myself to be so different.
Since the day i`m born.
I`m destined to be different from this mankind.

Somehow i really wished.
I really wished i was never born.

*P.S:
I`m sorry Yc that i couldn`t work with you for that food festival today.
If possible, i will work tmr. I`m very sorry.

I trusted you.
I really trusted you.
Am i gullible?

Japanese Summer Festival - Natsumatsuri

2009-07-18T09:41:00.002+08:00

Hello to all kind souls out there!

Does anyone able to get advance tickets for the Natsumatsuri [夏祭り] aka Summer Festival? I would like to buy three tickets from you. Dont mind paying an additional 1 buck for each tix.

Please email me at icy_mutushi@hotmail.com

Thanks alot! =))

2009-07-15T22:57:00.002+08:00

My friend sent me this youtube link.

And i thought of posting the video here.
Because somehow it regurgitated all my nasty nightmares.

And i remember.

Me: I wish i can be strong. Like a man. But afterall, i know i`m not.
B: Stop crying. You look ugly.

After a year plus.
And i tell myself i`ll be strong.
And if i feel like letting out a good cry,
I will hide.
I`ll hide my very hideous face.

I`m a man.
I`m a man.
I`m a man.

2009-07-14T00:12:00.002+08:00

I just wonder why he is not invited to sing in Michael Jackson Memorial.
He`s so talented.
But he lost in American Idol just `cause he`s a frigging gay.

Come`on.
Gays are usually the talented ones.

I ♥LOVE♥ GAYS!

~The beauty of Nothing~

2009-07-09T02:09:00.004+08:00

BOO!
GHOST!

Ha!
Caught ya!
I like the star planted near my eye! =D

I want to sleep.
I want to sleep.
But i just thought of doing a blog entry.
Since i`ve not been updating.
And SOMEONE is complaining.

AND I REACHED MY TARGET!
HAPPY FOR A MONTH! ♥

Now, i wanna try reaching the next!
Happy for 2 months consecutively!

*******************************************************

I`m thinking of a switch,
For a super much better pay scheme.
But risks are involved if i do not meet the certain target.

No risks, No gains.

I`m one faint-hearted loser.

Should i?
Or should i not?..

I`m so happy.
I`m so happy.
I`m so happy!

2009-06-29T00:14:00.002+08:00

And yes, i was given a home quarantine order on wed.
Till yesterday 8a.m.

Like finally.

And i started to think bout losta things.
As usual,
I cant stay at home too long.
Somehow,
many things will dawn on me.
And smother me.

I began to ponder on several things.
And was happy with the decisions i made previously.
I guess they happened for just one reason:
Saving me from more miseries.

Be it,
school,
work,
friendships,
relationships.
I have no regrets with all the decisions i`ve made.

Reliving the times when i was squalling over them,
I`m totally putting myself out of countenance. =((

I guess time really makes ppl think much better, and sensibly.

I`m really feeling happy for almost three weeks already.
It`s gonna reach a month!

Loves.
And More Loves.

Thank You God!

And!
And!
Suddenly.
I feel like buying a purple rose.
It`s so pretty~~
Ha!

Hmms.
Bye!

I`m happy,
when you`re happy.

2009-06-25T02:43:00.002+08:00

Please People.
I`m really pissed now.

If you are sick, STAY AT HOME!
Let alone thinking bout dancing in a CLUB!

Now, i need to self-quarantine.
And i dont know if they will issue a
home quarantine order to my house or not.

Good Game.
~~Thanks~~ to the girl who club when she was sick.

2009-06-21T23:43:00.003+08:00

What is love?
A common feeling?
Or a common word?

What is fidelity?
An unwanted commitment,
or an unwanted word?

What is truth?
An honest fact?
or an honest word?

What are lies?
The fabricated facts?
or a fabricated word?

I wonder.
Do you?

If i can choose,
between Love and Hate,
I will choose hate.
Because when there`s hate, there`ll be love.
But when there`s love, there wont be hate.

If i can choose between Truth and Lies.
I will choose lies.
Because when there`re no lies,
you wont know the truth.
And when it is the truth,
you assume they`re lies.

Humans.
A complicated matter.
A complicated mass.

*************************************************

And i`m happy.
With all the loves from everyone.
I feel blessed.
Like finally, after so long.

Muacks!

I`m gone. =))

2009-06-18T23:31:00.003+08:00

Sorry if i kept posting all the oldies.
But i really love this song.
Enjoy!

在雨中　我送過你　在夜裡　我吻過你
在春天　我擁有你　在冬季　我離開你

有相聚　也有分離　人生本　是一齣戲
有歡笑　也有哭泣　不知誰能　誰能躲的過去

你說人生艷麗　我沒有異議　
你說人生憂鬱　我不言語

只有默默的承受這一切　
承受數不盡的春來冬去

*******************************************

And this coming sat will be my last day at butter.
I`ll miss the ppl there sooo much. =))

And i dont know why.
All the futile interviews are making me so tired.
I`m so totally drained out.
And the weather is really getting warmer and warmer.

Sometimes i just hope i can take off clothes,
lying spreadeagled,
in a fully air-conditioned room!
How nice is that!

Bahs.
I`m gone.

2009-06-15T12:13:00.003+08:00

As stated on my Fb status.
I`MMA FEELING SOOOOOOO HAPPY.

And dont ask me why.
`Cause i wont tell you.
LaLaLaLa~~

Lastly,
i`m quitting butter.
So ppl.
Stop asking if i could bring you in bump anymore.
LaLaLaLa~

Ending with this song by Black Eyed Peas.
Happy is Loves.
Loves is Happy.
It`s time to party PPL!
WOOOOO~~~

2009-06-11T08:06:00.003+08:00

When i was at my rock bottom,
My dear fren send me this song.
And i thought it was so funny!
I was literally laughing hysterically,
just by hearing the first verse.

OLDIES PPL!

SING ALONG!
It`ll make you happy too~~

我一见你就笑
I Smile When I See You

你那翩翩风采太美妙
Your elegance is so very wonderful.

跟你在一起永远没烦恼
Being with you together, there is no trouble forever.

*********************************************

Thanks alot to those who tried to cheer me up!
*Pouts*

2009-06-09T11:22:00.003+08:00

If I could live without you,
I would just walk away.
But I feel sick when Im not around you.
Like Im allergic to the pain.
If I could breathe without you,
I would let go of your hand.
But every time I try,
I feel like half a man.
So its obvious I cant.

Depression.

2009-06-05T13:44:00.004+08:00

I just dont know why.
Since the day i`m born,
i`m bullied by ppl.

And when i try my best to treat ppl well,
they turned out to be either bitches or bastards.

And when i dont,
i hurt those who are genuine.

I hate my life.
I dont understand what i owe to all these people in my past life.

I cant take it anymore.
I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God,
will you bring me with you?

2009-06-04T05:57:00.003+08:00

『 ♫ So ❤baby❤ don’t worry, you are my only,
You won’t be lonely, even if the sky is falling down,
You’ll be my only, no need to worry,
❤Baby❤ are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
❤Baby❤ are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Even if the sky is falling down ♫ 』

Cool Lasers and MP5.

2009-05-29T14:06:00.006+08:00

Please take a look at these Professional Green Laser Pointers!
It comes in different power:
30mW, 50mW, 100mW, 200mW!!!!

This is a must-have tool for Photographers/Artists, Astronomers, Teachers,
Students, Bird Watchers, Professionals and Executives, Tour Guides, Rescuers & Search Personnel,
Construction Engineers and Workers, Scientists, Security, Campers, Hikers.
And!
And!
You can play with your pets!!!!
I`m pretty sure Dogs and Cats love chasing the laser dot! =D

Some live pictures taken!

If you love to do weird stuff like me,
i`m sure you will be interested in the 200 mW ones!
Because they are able to burn plastics, light match sticks,
pop balloons, and many more!

The prices are as follows!

$48 each for 30mW
$60 each for 50mW ---- Limited stock
$99 each for 100mW ---- Limited stock
$179 each for 200mW ---- Limited stock

For more info, please CLICK HERE!

*******************************************

Next featuring star will be
Ainol MP5 PMP Player!!!!!
It comes in two memories:
8Gb and 16Gb!

Here are the specs:
ChinaChip CC1600 (1.6Ghz)
4.3" LTPS 16000000 True color Screen
Resolution: 800 x 480
Languages: English, Chinese
Audio Playback Formats MP3, WMA, WMA/VBR, APE, FLAC
Video Playback Formats RM, RMVB, AVI, DAT, ASF, MP4, 3GP, MPG
MAX FPS-30/FPS

And pictures of them~~

For more info bout the prices and features,

Please CLICK HERE!

I`ll put up a lil column together with the ones on the left for
these laser pointers and mp5 when i have the time.
So you can see actually browse them any time you want,
when this entry is overrided.

SUPPORT ME PEOPLE!
♥LOVES~♥

****************************************************

I`m totally jealous of girls, of my age..
Who own so many designer bags, shoes, accessories etc..
And last but not least, a very caring and understanding,
charming boyfriend.

If i was one of these girls, i swear,
I`ll treasure every single moment of my life,
just like them..

Like what my mum told me when i shared with her this.
"上辈子烧好香, 才有这等的福气。"

Sigh, why my former incarnation didn`t help me to 烧好香?
I have to start doing more good deeds, and burn more incense to the God!

Den perhaps my next incarnation will have a better life.
Bwhaha~

However, recently,
more ppl are saying i`m mean.
Ha!
Whatever.

**************************************************

On a side note,
went to Zirca, Rebel and Lunar yesterday.
And Yc was really pissed drunk.
Craze and Puke.
She drank ALOT!
And her lolli even message denise for my number. LOL.

I want to go again!
again! again!

**************************************************

Girls! Dont drool!
It`s Matsumoto Jun!
松本潤!
After watching ALL his dramas,
i was so mesmerized by him!

And while i was google-ing for his fan pictures and vids,
I found this sexy picture of him!
He can be a good boy at times, and a bad boy too! =D

You know what?
I`ve been hiding this..
I`m actually flying to japan tmr to sign the engagement papers with him!
He`s gonna marry me!
Oh my!
(In my dreams)

**************************************************

And my FB status is for real.
I`m really feeling so depressed, demoralized, and disappointed.
So many times i bit my lips,
to suppress my emotions.
But.
I wonder.
How much longer can i hold.

I`m crying here, and i`m smiling there.
And i`m taking it no more.

2009-05-27T08:15:00.004+08:00

『 Before marriage:

The gentleman knelt and bowed his head,
infront of the lady`s parents.
To express his gratitude towards them.
For giving birth and raising her,
so that she can be his fiancé.

After marriage: (A year later)

The wife asked: What is your dream?
The husband replied: My dream came true (Pointing to her)

The husband asked: What is your dream too?
The wife replied: My dream came true too. (Touching her tummy) 』

These two scenes are from Hana Yori Dango Final Movie.
My tear glands just worked throughout the movie.

After watching their drama(season 1), i got so addicted to it.
That i couldn`t stop, watching one after another, into the wee hours.

It has two seasons, and a final movie to make a complete ending.
If anyone loves romance, or just bored stiff,
you should watch it!

Something random:
After watching Zettai Kareshi, Gokusen, and lastly Hana Yori Dango,
I`m really besotted with MATSUMOTO JUN!
He never fails to bring the flavor of the character out,
and furthermore, he`s so charming!
*Drooling*

*************************************************

I can be quite auntie-looking at times.
Bwhahaha~
I cant wait to go out with Yc lata~
WHEEEE~
Gonna catch a lil sleep now.
Jya-na~

本当の幸せって何でしょう？
本当の愛って何？

2009-05-25T15:22:00.003+08:00

What would you do,
if you done so much for someone,
and yet for so many years, you were so unappreciated?..

What would you do,
if someone who you thought could protect you,
try all his means to hurt you instead?

What will you do?

Sometimes i just wonder,
why are there so many bitches and bastards in this world.

Perhaps, time is up.

Sale of Laser Pointers And MP5

2009-05-22T05:28:00.006+08:00

This gonna be a real long entry!
But you can just skip the front part,
and scroll to the ending one!
Laser Pointers! And MP5!
TWO FEATURED STARS!
Support Me! Support Please!

******************************************

Camwhoring on a blue monday(18th May).

I like this LV lil handphone pouch. =))

******************************************

On a side note,
last week was a heart-wrenching one.

On both Fri and Sat when i was working at butter,

Fri (15th May):
Saw someone just like him, almost.
Same facial features, tanned, exactly the same physique,
and wearing the same ear-stud.
My mind went blank momentarily.
Eyes totally fixed on him.
When the two girls came, their arms around his waist,
and his eyes met mine,
I was sure,
it was not him.

Sat (16 May):
Met my ngee ann schoolmates.
Though, i dont recognize some..
Funny guys.
"We are the famous group in school eh! You dont know?"

Then i saw Aaron, someone`s fren.
And somehow,
I felt so much guilt,
`Cause he just summoned up those terrible things i had done to the said someone.
I couldn`t even reply to aaron properly when he greeted me.
Because i`m just too choked with emotions.

Like i told you,
i can never be happy for more than a month.
Ha.
Why i just cant stop living in a dream which wont come true?

***********************************************

On a side note,
Please take a look at these Professional Green Laser Pointers!
It comes in different power:
30mW, 50mW, 100mW, 200mW!!!!

This is a must-have tool for Photographers/Artists, Astronomers, Teachers,
Students, Bird Watchers, Professionals and Executives, Tour Guides, Rescuers & Search Personnel,
Construction Engineers and Workers, Scientists, Security, Campers, Hikers.
And!
And!
You can play with your pets!!!!
I`m pretty sure Dogs and Cats love chasing the laser dot! =D

Some live pictures taken!

If you love to do weird stuff like me,
i`m sure you will be interested in the 200 mW ones!
Because they are able to burn plastics, light match sticks,
pop balloons, and many more!

Below is the video example!
MUST WATCH!

The prices are as follows!

$48 each for 30mW
$60 each for 50mW ---- Limited stock
$99 each for 100mW ---- Limited stock
$179 each for 200mW ---- Limited stock

For more info, please CLICK HERE!

*******************************************

2009-05-15T04:30:00.013+08:00

Hmms,
I`m feeling really happy recently,
and it`s been almost a week..
I hope i can reach the target in my temptation list!
1 MONTH!

I`m IN ♥LOVE♥!!!
Insatiable thirst for this gorgeous bag!
Help someone!
Help!
Extricate me from this obsession!
Why have i turned so possessive???

And something random!
I bought more boxers!
I love them!

Meeting my sweetest, prettiest, smartest
HONEY later!
She`s so irresistible!
BUT!
BUT!
I still gonna catch some sleep first.

Miss me alright people!
Muacks! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

*Officially Crazy* - Yc said.

You need me,
And i need you.
Is this love?
Or just a perennial exploitation?

2009-05-13T01:50:00.002+08:00

Funny!
MUST WATCH!

Hokkien version of
RIHANNA - UMBRELLA!

Ho sua Ho sua Ho Ho Ho
Kia Di Wa Ho Sua!~~
HAHA!

Hokkien version of Fast And Furious: Hokkien Drift!

FUNNY!
MUST WATCH!

2009-05-12T00:54:00.004+08:00

This is really funny!
MUST WATCH!

Funny gimmick bout Vacuum Cleaner.
MUST WATCH!

ALL TAKEN FROM CHEEYONG`S BLOG.

2009-05-08T04:15:00.001+08:00

I`m struggling..
I`m struggling so badly..

Education sector?
Finance sector?

Can anyone enlighten me?

2009-05-06T05:41:00.002+08:00

愛讓我學會等待
讓我習慣失敗
懷疑自己何必要存在

愛你讓我好孤單
面對所有人看壞
都說愛上你不如愛上海

2009-05-03T07:49:00.004+08:00

I have to sincerely thank Yc for accompanying me all the way
from clarke quay, to chinatown, in search of a fortune cat coin bank.

I think god heard my prayers,
and after many futile searches,
i finally found the only shop which sells the coin bank at chinatown!

Cute anot?..
And my boy loves it to bits!
Hees~

And yesterday, i hurt my left feet while doing baggage at butter..
I literally broke out in cold sweats, when the board fell onto my feet..
If it drops flat, perhaps the impact wont be that strong..
But it actually landed on my feet at the sharp corners..
Now it`s swollen, and super painful when i walk..
Especially when i need to climb up and down the stairs..

It`s getting worst when i reached home..
I`m afraid it`s fractured.. =((
`Cause my bones are so brittle always..
I want to cry..
=(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Just imagine the pain i`m bearing now..
SOBS!

I thought this was funny..
But i still cant smile..
MY FEET!

2009-04-28T19:37:00.007+08:00

You know what..
I always hated guys(not applicable to goody-goody-guys who are thin on the ground)..
To be born as Casanovas..
Fickle-minded in relationships,
Well-known for "everlasting novelty"..
and have the mentality that girls are only their wanking materials,
OR to satisfy their needs..

To put the same point more succintly,
Guys are polygamists,
Women are monogamists..

BUT!
BUT!

I have always revered them with admiration..
Because of one thing:
Brotherhood..
After watching Gokusen, it justifies further..
One phrase which my boy tells me before:
One for all, All for one..

And girls can never have such frens..
Because they are too emotional, selfish and
lastly, like what my boy said to me: Calculative..

You can hardly find any group of girls together for years..
And been through shits TOGETHER, and out of the shits TOGETHER..
Sometimes i just hope i`m a guy, ha!

Imagine if i`m a guy..
And all my brothers fight for me, And i fight for them..
because we`re frens, because we`re brothers..
Or if i refused to heed his advice and he punched me awake***..
Because he sensed great danger and just wants me to stay away from it..

***not saying i like to be punched, but somehow guys communicate this way..
Perhaps guys need harder deterrence?*** =/

We can be fighting all the time, flirting together..
But there`s just one thing we can never forget,
We`re united..
Want live, Live together..
Want die, Die together!!

Suddenly, i really envy guys.. =D

And i love this drama: ♥GOKUSEN!♥

2009-04-27T18:32:00.003+08:00

A song by one of Arashi Members, 大野智!
The title is 曇りのち、快晴~~
So catchy~~~~
Dont you like it as much as i do? =D

I dont know what the producer is thinking to produce such a substandard video..
Sigh, it`s a pity isn`t it?
Such a sweet-sounding song.. =((

***********************************************

This is one of the blue-blacks i`m talking
about previously!

Me: My blue-black big anot?
Zol: So black!
Me: I mean it`s big! Stupid heavy bag! Dont know bring luggage for what!
D(Forget his name): Remember! The Bon voyage!
D&Me: HAHA! (And we both ^5)
Zol: ?????????

I`m happy.
But i`m sad as well, Yc dont leave me behind!
Want go, go together!

2009-04-24T18:37:00.007+08:00

I ♥love♥ her.

Another super pretty girl i found.
I didn`t know apart from having ravishing good looks,
she is so HOT!!!!
♥爱沙♥, I LOVE YOU!
Call it intemperance.

Like i care~
LaLa~
I love 爱沙!
And i still love 蕭敬騰 too!

************************************************

On the side note, back to butter working..
Get a few blue blacks, feeling so super shag..

But!
But!
I like the way, when my honey is beside me, working hard..
And i`m working hard, beside her too~

I know god is smiling with me,
this time..

2009-04-22T04:03:00.009+08:00

I`m going back butter later in the evening..
A good sign?
Or a bad sign?

Bah
Bah.

Attention To All My Classmates!

Can tell me whether you will be going for the graduation ceremony
next month?..

I`m still hesitating, and i gotta make a decision quick,
like some time this week, if not i reckon i`ll be able to rent
the robe of my size..

Next,
if anyone has admin job offers,
please intro me, can can can?..

I wanna take up two jobs, and earn as much as i can before school starts.
Another good, like greased lightning, 7 months more!

Edited**

I have forgotten to add in something:

I ஐ HEARTஐ ♥蕭敬騰♥

I`ve been maniacally finding YouTube videos of him!
I`m totally besotted with him!
Dont you find him so adorable, and frigging talented!

I prefer indulging in sorrow,
than being swept up in the mood of exaltation..
Because in this way,
the value of elation in my context will plunge..
Even just by giving me a random call..
engenders deep contentment in me.

2009-04-21T04:24:00.005+08:00

MUST WATCH!

SUPER FUNNY!

My heart almost melts!

I SUPER ♥HEARTS♥ 蕭敬騰!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-20T02:44:00.003+08:00

New skin, maybe a new life story?..

**********************************

On a side note,
I`m perplexed..
Why everything which revolves around me,
always turned out so tragically?..

And you told me i`ve been thinking too much..
That you never gonna leave me..

But the next moment,
you`re lacerating my heart with all these words..
That you`re just waiting for an ending..
be it a happy, or a sad one..
Just an ending..

People told me..
Girl`s sixth sense has always brought the ugly truth to the surface..
And indeed, i`m not thinking too much at all..
Isn`t it?..

All the tears i shed,
and you wouldn`t care..
All the heart-to-heart talks,
and you think it`s going nowhere..

And after yesterday night, i told myself..
I`m resigning to fate..
不属于你的东西终究是得不到的..

I believe..
the more i dwell over it..
the faster i`m pining away..

God, i need you..
The strength to overcome
everything which are against me..

2009-04-18T14:13:00.001+08:00

Bernard: Joanne cannot work one, like vase like that..
Yc: At least he is saying you pretty ehh, ugly cannot be vase..

I know Yc is simply comforting me..
BUT!
ARGHHH!
Since when i stand there for show only!
All the wasted hard work previously.. Grrr..

2009-04-16T00:05:00.003+08:00

I`m so traumatized..
Am i just fated to carry on night life?..

Danny was kind enough to intro me to a Singpost job,
But so many ppl are applying for that post..
Oh my..

And pretty girls, kissing each other on the lips!
Hot anot!
I`m depressed, `cause there ain`t any pretty girls around for me to kiss..
And i know Yc would retort that i wouldn`t even dare to do it..

But..
Who knows?..
Perhaps, if that moment she was there,
i would probably kiss her!
Bwhahaha!

6 years of friendship, honey..
Will we give up when we turn old and fugly?..
Or will we be like the two grannies, holding hands..
And looking at each other, smiling..

I dont know why i`m so busy recently..
SLACKING!
Oh my..
It sounds ridiculous to me..

I want to go back butter, if they still have a vacancy..
And i want an additional job..

And!
And!
I want you, boy!
For piggyback-ing me across the big grass patch,
because i jus dont wanna stain my nicey shoes..
For saying you wanna open a shop for me to sell clothes,
although it may be just a whim..
For saying thanks, when you seldom even gasp any gratitute before..

The world is changing in a good way, somehow..
I`m loving it..
Muacks.
Bye.

***********************************

Some hilarious conversations with my dear Yc:

1st:

Joanne: I want get falsies.
Yc: Where?
Joanne: Facebook lo (with the "DUH" look)
Yc: HUH?!?!?
Joanne: Err.. Wrong! I mean Faceshop!
Yc & Joanne: HAHA! (Laughing hystercially)

2nd:

Joanne: Does anyone comes with the name horny huh?..
Yc: I think mayb have ehh..
Joanne: Really?..
(Start acting)
Yc: Hello, my name is sequin, what`s yours?
Joanne: I`m horny!
Yc: What?! Say again?
Joanne: I`m really horny!
Yc&Joanne: HAHA! (Laughing hysterically)

Flutterbies here~
Flutterbies there~
Flutterbies everywhere~

2009-04-10T23:16:00.005+08:00

Latinas they get crazy
Blanquitas they get crazy
Negritas they get crazy
Yo Mama she gets crazy(Hey)

Now Jump up let’s get crazy!
Now Jump up let’s get crazy!!!
Now Jump up let’s get crazy!!!!!
Now Jump up let’s get crazy!!!!!!!
Now Jump up let’s get crazy!!!!!!!!
Now Jump up let’s get crazy!!!!!!!!!
Now Jump up let’s get crazy!!!!!!!!!!

(Scroll down to my ipod for the song!)

**********************************

And i told Yc, i wanna wear a Hot Red Brassiere,
Over with a button-up blouse..
All unbuttoned, until the tummy area..
HOT ANOT!

Show you the picture when i have the time to take k..
HAHA
I was Kidding.. =D

I miss clubbing, honey..

2009-04-09T22:18:00.005+08:00

From deviantart

Was in the cab yesterday..
And somehow,
it reminds me of someone who said something to me before..

When i asked if we could take the cab home..
And i remember it happened near suntec city..
And you told me bout your liking of taking the buses, instead of cabs..
Because we can spent more time together..
Chatting, and knowing each other more..

I sounded silly, isn`t it?..
When it had passed for like,
a month plus, or mayb longer..
And yet, i still think of it..

Somehow, it tasted bitter now..
The past, the sum of my memories..
And i know they`re so short-lived..
But i never regret..
Because, i was happy..

And helping you to move things around after your renovation..
And you constantly asking me what is wrong..
And you telling me so many stories about your past, and i just love to hear them..
And you telling you wanna buy an air refresher for your room..
And you showing me all your funny gestures..

So many And's..
That i just couldn`t stop..

If there`ll be a chance we meet again,
i would like to thank this person..
Because..
At that part of my life,
I kept thinking..
Happiness was abundant..

**************************************

On a side note,
I knocked onto the taxi today when entering,
and got a super painful bump on my head!

ARGHH!
Will it get bigger as time passes?..
And by the age of 21, it will become the size of a big balloon!

Someone!
Save me!

2009-04-08T02:36:00.004+08:00

Before you start to air dirty linen in facebook,
have you read my previous blog entry, properly?..
Like always, you didn`t read it well..

Did i attach every fault at you?..
OR rather make everything seems your fault?..
I`m trying to explain to you why i couldn`t pay the debt..
Feeling so guilt-ridden..
AND telling you how money destroys our friendship..
Because of the way you strung every words..

All the quotes i typed in my previous entry,
are from You..
If you cant remember them,
and treat them as accusations,
Okay, i apologise sincerely..
But i swear those were true,
coming from You..
i remember all those quotes so hard on my brain,
because it infects me Very much..

And yes, i remember telling you i dont like to show people
how i truly feel inside, and sometimes only during
heated arguments, will i bring them out..

BUT, because that day at vivo, you told me i should change..
I`ve stopped..
And if you even remember,
when we were sitting down, in a companionable mood..
Talking..
And i told you i treasure you very much..

Do you even remember when we got to know each other
And i told you i couldn`t put in all the efforts in friendships,
because of my past incidents?..
And after that blow we had previously, and we got back as frens again..
I told myself, perhaps i should give myself a chance, and us..
A Chance..

Do you even remember the CD you make for me?..

But, before i can even taste the happiness our friendship draws..
This is what happened..
Just after i put in my feelings, you shattered them,
with no qualms..

And just when i thought to reconcile with you after this squabble..
I saw those tart remarks on your profile..
I thought i was dead, that instant..

Why?..
Just why must you do all these?..
All i had wanted, was things to piece up again..
`Cause it`s so hard for us to come this far,
dont you remember?..

Dont you remember?..

2009-04-07T01:52:00.004+08:00

I seriously hate this, alright..

When i`m told the friendship is worth $150..
And you make it as though i`m the one who thinks that way..

**Let me set forth all the things..**

I know you had a tight purse, `cause of the batam trip..
And precisely, why i wanted to find a job quick..

BUT!
I cant find any..
How you want me to generate money,
or speak tongues of magic for the money to drop from the sky?..
And the money i`m gonna transfer you is not mine either..
I borrowed it..

And you told me so much previously bout
standing by my side when i needed you..
But apparently, you are not..
And i reckon, when you wake up each day
till the time you head to bed, you dont think bout how well i am..

And you must have forgotten that day which you confessed to me..
"You would prefer quarreling with me sometimes,
BECAUSE you will be able to bring up the debts issue.."

Do you think it feels great to have someone, hounding me for payment?..
And for the umpteen times you tried to ask from me,
and i really do not have any penny..

And before you threw me with that hurting sentence that
our friendship is worth just $150, do you even know behind all that..
I was shedding tears, literally..
Because for so many times i told myself, you had not change..
And you shattered all that, with consummate ease..

Everything, for just a $150..
钱只不过是[身外]物，可是因为它，
你吹毁了我们的友谊。

Money is not an inherent part of the human being?..
Hah..
Money is the root of all evil!
And you just staged everything for me to see..
A quarrel..
And i regurgitate the money you want..

I just couldn`t bring myself to believe this..
If money is what you want..
Take, and go..

2009-04-06T05:16:00.002+08:00

By deviantart

I know you rued the day you met me, absolutely..
But i have never felt happy, when you were crushed..
And i`m not unfazed by all the things you had put yourself through..
There is not a day i wouldn`t cry, and sometimes ended up blubbering..
It hurts..
It really hurts..

And i frigging know that you would think i`m just
meandering on, yes..
It`s useless..
Because you ain`t seeing the tears..
And you ain`t seeing how pathetic i always look..
That i`m called ugly..
Or rather, revolting..

Hah..
I know you would think, who can i blame?..
Or is it even a big thing?..
Perhaps you are emboldened now, laughing away..
If my despondency makes you happy, i`m happy for you..
Truthfully happy..
Because deep down, at least i know..
You`ll be able to face all the tragically buggered pieces..

I really wish you well..
Be happy, okay?..

有时候..
在简单中找到优美..
方为最高境界..

2009-04-05T03:34:00.003+08:00

Pardon my cam-whoring..

I just couldn`t sleep, again..
Even with my migraine now..
My brain resounded with labyrinth of problems..

Send two resumes to two places, with the help of my sis..
Till now, i receive no replies..
Faint hope i guess..
But still, i have to thank her..

Chance upon these comic strips..
And i like them..
Hope you do as well..

***********************************

Pepper makes snails large..

Hmms, i didn`t know necrophiliac has
high suicidal tendency..
I like this one!

I have one...last.....favour....

Especially this one..
frigging funny..

我真的感觉好痛..
真的好痛..

2009-04-03T16:01:00.002+08:00

My hard disk crashed again, the second time, "out-ernaly"..
after bf reformatted it only two days ago, used so much time/effort to
install all my drivers back, and all other applications which i often use..

Lil did we know that the hard disk was actually in a precarious state.
Say Bye Bye to my original IBM hard disk..

So, he installed another hard disk given by my sis..
And he had to reformat for me again,
reinstall all the drivers and applications..
All the relentless attacks are winding him up..
Expected bellicose movements appearing one after another..
He`s really pissed, with me..

I have to really say,
I`m sorry for all the trouble.. =((

Sigh..
And i dont know why am i doing so much things..
Infront of him these several days..
Countless of blazing rows..
Crying..
Remote..
Crying again..

And he thought i lost my head..
Bahs.

Perhaps he`s true?..
And now in my lucid moments, i`m able to relate everything here..

I`m confused..

And i`m making people confused..

HOWEVER!

I think my insomnia is recovering..
Getting very sleepy recently, when it`s only 10 plus p.m..
Previously, i was like still very energetic, even till 6 plus in the morning!

I`m happy.
I`m sad.
I`m happy again.

I ~~love~~ free roller coaster rides..
Up and down, down and Up..

I`m gone.

Would you loved a person,
who so clearly, held you in contempt?

2009-04-01T01:29:00.004+08:00

♬ I want nobody nobody But You! ♬
♬ I want nobody nobody But You! ♬

I love this song..
And if you even noticed..
Koreans` face features are always so sharp!
How i wish i was born in Korea..
And my parents will plan for my plastic surgery journey..

By the time i reach the age of 21, HA HA HA..
I`m goddess..

Like a ribbon fluttering buoyantly..
Gentle winds caressing..
As i close my eyes..
Those scents of happy moments..
Trickling my nose..
As the winds whisk my problems away..
Away..
Away from me..

2009-03-31T20:40:00.003+08:00

MY LAPPY REVIVED!

ALL CREDITS GO TO MY BOY!

WITH BETTER APPLICATIONS,
AND MICROSOFT OFFICE!

WOOTS!

And it`s good that i`m under depression..
Crying almost everyday..
And cursing under my breath..

I kinda miss butter..
And yc wants to help me ask either murphy or bernard..
Two meanies..

Bahs.
I`m gone.

I`m grateful..
And i have never looked down on you.

2009-03-27T14:12:00.008+08:00

I have never used this word in my blog before..
So, please press the "X" button on your top
right hand corner of your browser..
I ~~dont wanna~~ incur any wrath in anyone..
I cant be bothered bout that now anyways.

*******************************************

And i`ll make an entry now with this..

FUCK!

FUCK IT!

STUPID LAPPY!

Put in a new hard disk given by my sister, but somehow,
some fucking drivers are missing..
And the fucking OS is outdated..
so, i cant install many programs..
Especially when LIVE MESSENGER is concerned!

I missed my nice msn nick!

FUCK IT!

And say goodbye to Acid Bar forever..
I`m working today, and i`m gonna tell them i`m quitting..

FUCK!

EVERY SINGLE THING IS DRIVING ME NUTS!

FUCK!

FUCK!

And to think i`ve lost all my data, and pictures!
Many pretty girls pictures! And all the pretty girls blog addresses!
ALL GONE!
But my pathetic lappy is still giving me errors!
I swear if i saved enough money to buy a new one,
I`LL SMASH YOU AND GRIND ALL THE BROKEN PIECES INTO SANDS!

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-23T23:49:00.003+08:00

Lappy Spoilt!

Hard disk was corrupted!

Too much pretty girls' pics i guess..

Gonna be busy, again.

Bah.

Bye.

To other people,
You are ordinary..
To me,
You are, extraordinary..

2009-03-20T08:25:00.002+08:00

I Graduated!

WOOLA!

I dont know why am i so happy..
And somehow sad too..

Mayb `cause i cant see my poly frens more often anymore.. =((
I wish i can go out with YunXian and Angie~
I wish i can go out with PeiPei too~
I wish i can go out with everyone in Poly!
WHEET!

And my MSN and AR score better than i expected..
I thought i would get a D - JUST PASSED..
But i didn`t!

I want to thank my mama, my papa, my sister, and MYSELF!

SAY BYEBYE TO NGEE ANN!

SAY HELLO TO SIM!

SAY BYEBYE TO BUTTER!

SAY HELLO TO ACID BAR! (Mayb quitting though!)

AND I ♥ YEH CHING TO BITS!
For all the sacrifices she made for me on Tuesday!
It totally ripped off the stress bug from me!

LALALALALALA~

I`m gone~

And i swear, under my breath,
I will defeat all odds..
And make you regret..

2009-03-17T03:37:00.004+08:00

有好多好多话想对你说，
吃得好吗？
过得好吗？

有好多好多话想对你说，
你有想过我吗？
你有担心过我吗？

有好多好多话想对你说，
我们能够在见面吗？
我们能够像以前那样吗？

有好多好多话想对你说，
难道我们的爱情就那么如此吗？
难道你不曾想要跟我重逢吗？

有好多好多话想对你说，
爱情就像一盏电灯要关就关吗？
还是这世上流行着无情无义吗？

有好多好多话想对你说。

真的，
好想你。

出逢えて，良かった

2009-03-15T03:24:00.004+08:00

Went out with my darling on Fri..
Accompanied me for lunch at the newly-opened Sakae at City Vibe..
And den we headed down for my interview at Acid Bar..

Some pictures we took while on the bus

The sun is too scorching! *BLOCK BLOCK* =D

I`m DAO! HUMPH! =P
Qiao Xin Darling: I`m overly friendly~

Say: Cheeeeeeeesssssseeeeeee

Angel And Assassin! Bwhahaha~
Scared of me anot?.. =D

***********************************

AND!
Have to wear an UGLY blouse which resembles what a toilet cleaner wears..
And i still have to do cleaning up after all the mess the customers had created..
Like in Butter..
But i take in ~~comfort~~, knowing that Yc will meet me after work
Once in a while..

Somehow in retrospect, i think what Yc said to me was right!
If we gonna waste our lives on night jobs, den find one which pays well..

And what my dear boy reprimanded me on, was also right too!
I shouldn`t be wasting my life on night jobs anymore..

I wil wait for my "gone-case" results, and Yc`s one..
And decide either paths i will pursue..
First: Further Studies at SIM..
Second: Send resume to SCS..

************************************

Back on track, i was employed my Acid Bar..

Den after that, met up with my darling again, who was kind enough to
wait for me..

I`m sorry! =((

Den we went down to Harbourfront..
Enjoying the breezy sea~
Witnessing the orange horizon turning into dark night sky~

Had a heart-to-heart talk bout her new boyfriend..
All the mushy mushy lil things that she related to me..
So jealous can..
Hmms, but I`m happy..
That someone can take care of her, on my behalf finally..
Den i dont have to worry anymore for you, darling!
Bwhahaha~

And i think i went berserk..

I have given myself a JAPANESE NAME!
Bwhahaha~

Myouki~
妙喜

And i`m changing my email add, very likely next month..
So if you see an email add that contains the word Myoki,

It`s ME!

PLEASE PLEASE ACCEPT!
Hees.. =D

Bye!

"Isn't this the point of being young?
It's your choice.
People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute.
You climb up here with me, it's one less minute you haven't lived."

2009-03-12T02:48:00.003+08:00

Went St James..

Went for job interviews..

Maybe getting the job..

Going for SIM Open House..

Going to look for study loans..

Going to write a resume..

Hopes Darling can bring me eat this again:

Prays hard that i can graduate from Ngee Ann..

Signs up a Savings Plan..

Plans to buy anti-aging products..

Anticipate Rhino..

***************************************************

First Goal: Rhino..
Next Goal: My First Million..

I NEED GOOD BRAINS!

Bye.

They'll overthrow the Earth
They're dinky
They're Pinky and The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain
Narf!

2009-03-10T00:16:00.003+08:00

From deviantart

A wave of extreme sorrow swept over me..
Raking my fingers through my hair, i burrowed my head in my arms..

And i realized, my arms were wet..
I searched for a mirror..
A reflection..
My eyes are swelling, with tears, overflowing..

Rubbed my eyes hard, suppressed them..
But they came back, more overwhelming..

A forlorn attempt..
A silent struggle..

Laid on my bed, spreadeagled..
And i closed my eyes..

And i dreamt..

Surrounded by many people..
Staring at me, like total strangers..
But familiar faces..

I shuddered, I screamed..
Elbowed my way through, and ran as fast as i could..
Unknowingly..
I`m lost..

A boulevard..

As i trudged towards..
Eyes, devoid of all expression..
And i`m far from sight, shrouded by the mist..
gradually, petering out..

2009-03-09T01:08:00.003+08:00

I slept at 10 plus p.m, and wake up again like now!
I kept having weird dreams, and they`re killing me..
But this time, it wasn`t a nightmare~
PHEW!

And i have the urge to say:

I LOVE YOU, EVERYONE!
ESPECIALLY YOU, BOY!
Stop saying i dont write bout you in my blog,
when it`s supposed to be MY blog.. =P

And why did my QiaoXin goes on disappearance.. Lols..
Come back please..

*********************************

JUST FOR LAUGHS:

P.s. I hope Yc is not gonna kill me for this..

I see, I seen..
I cry, i cired..
I blame, I blamed..
I rue, i rued..
Move on, Moved on..

2009-03-07T11:08:00.003+08:00

Reached home at 9a.m..
Bath..
Surf the web..
AND I`M STILL NOT FEELING TIRED!
When i dance, i drink, eat, went home, surf the web..
Woke up at 12 plus afternoon since yesterday..
AND I`M STILL FEELING SO ENERGETIC..

WHERE DID I GET SO MUCH OF ENERGY!
Oh my..
I want to cry..

************************************

Just For Laughs:

I enjoy the night..
The night of fun, craze and everything nice..

2009-03-04T01:10:00.004+08:00

Went out with my darling Qiao Xin today!

Hmms, and i dont even feel a least bit tired!
When i sleep for like, pathetic four hours only..

Sigh..

What`s happening to me huh?..

FURTHERMORE!

We went to like, several places!

AND DO SO MUCH CAM-WHORING!

AND!
AND!
AND!

I still feel so awake, and energetic!

I WANT A JOB!
So that i can channel all my energy there..

Hmms, back on track..

We walked around Orchard, went to Taka to visit our ex-colleagues..
Somehow, i just feel awkward..
I guess i need more time to draw a veil over the whole affair which happened then..

Bah.
Bah.

Den we went to suntec city, and then lastly Esplanade..

Let the pictures do the further elaboration..

My ♥Hearty Lunch♥ specially made by my Darling Qiao Xin..
They`re half-eaten by me.. Lols!
Forgotten to take them before i ate..
And seriously, It`s the nicest meal ever!

**************************************

Taken when we`re on the bus, going to Cine..
We took some neoprints there..

Ta-Daa!

I`ll upload the rest when i have the time..

**************************************

Next,

This is taken when we`re in the toilet at suntec city mall..
Haas! =D

*************************************

Den we went to Esplanade!
And took SUPER ALOT OF PICTURES!
I uploaded only like a small portion of them!

We`re really crazy!

OH MY!
I gave her a ♥kiss♥..

I`m going out tmr!
I`m going out the day after too!
I`m going out the day after after too!

WHEET!

HOPS AWAY!

I`m happy..
Because you`re happy..